She's sad and a little tipsy. Those talks with her mom always do this to her. She feels like she missed something by not having a father, though writing that feels like such a betrayal to the other men that helped raise her. She loves her grandfather's and is terrified of losing them, ironically she lives half a country away and doesn't see either of them very often. She's never experienced a loss like that...and isn't sure why she's worrying about it so much now...must be the wine. She should stay sober for talks like that with her mother. She misses her family...she wants to talk to him and doesn't know where he is.